Bands that wear makeup all have two similar characteristics

1.  Their music sounds like a hyena in a meat slicer

and

2.  They're GAY

Real Gay!

Like "butch woman with a tongue callus" gay

Hey Wanda!   I said gay again!

Now dine on my fecal matter.

Take the band Poison for example

No other single word in the English language could adequately describe them other than...

GAY

They're obviously using make-up to disguise the fact that they are incompetent musicians

Wouldn't it be nice if all incompetent people had to wear make-up?

It would be a whole lot easier to pick out the idiots

Gay Thing #3

Shows about people chasing ghosts

Lately, there has been a number of shows that feature a group of "experts" that specialize in chasing ghosts

Several decades ago, this is how we thought of people who chased ghosts

Bumbling idiots who battle giant marshmallow men

Now, these people claim to have technology that can detect and record ghosts

That's fucking gay

The reason it's gay is because you can't detect a ghost if ghost don't exist

And I can prove it

A ghost is basically the soul of a person who has died

After the body dies, the soul lives on for eternity

Let this graph represent time

When someone dies, their ghost lives on in the future forever, as represented by the red line

Therefore, if the soul lives on until the end of time, then the soul must have always existed since the beginning of time

And since I don't have one single recollection of the 14.5 billion years before my birth, that means it's all bullshit

So ghosts are gay

And people that believe in ghosts are really gay

And people that spend their time actually chasing ghosts are off-the-richter gay

I mean insanely gay

I mean "size of asshole is two and a half times the national average" gay

I said it again, Wanda

Gay, gay, gay

Feel free to lick me up the crack of my filthy, hairy ass

Gay Thing #4

The Internet

The Internet is fucking gay

It wasn't always this way

This graph represents the types of web sights during the early 1990's

This graph represents the types of web sights as of 2011

There's 8% less porn

That's fucking GAY!

So let me get this straight...

A comedian...

who makes their living saying outrageous things...

is scolding the public for how they speak.

Man, that's gay.

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